Our Own Wedding: Argh!

10 06 2008

I am quite possibly the most indecisive bride-to-be on this planet. I just posted recently that after much thought, I decided we would have a small wedding rather than just elope. Well…. Now I’m not so sure. After making the guest list and reaffirming that we could definitely do a small wedding, I started daydreaming about eloping again. I feel like once I get moved in with Dustin, the wedding is going to feel unimportant, and I’ll be just as satisfied with an elopement. But I’m not sure! Will I miss out on having our friends and families there? Or will we have the wedding and feel overwhelmed, crowded, and broke?

I love the thought of having my parents and brother and my closest friends there. My mom helping me into my dress, my best guy friend Brandon seeing me all dressed up, seeing Dustin’s expression as I walk down the aisle toward him… these are all moments I dream about. I want to dance with my new husband to a special song, show our guests a good time, and give them a glimpse at our love. I want great photos that tell the story of the day.

I also love the romanticism of eloping, with a modern twist. Dustin and I would have a private ceremony, just the two of us plus the minister and photographer. We’d dress in nice, informal clothes, write our own vows, and have beautiful imagery to document the day. We’d celebrate with friends and family a few weeks later with a casual party.

Both scenarios have great appeal, and I constantly flip-flop between the two!

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you make your final decision?

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7 responses

10 06 2008
Michelle

Ok… this may be a terrible analogy but it carries the point. Your biggest kicker for wanting the elopement is really the “romanticism” that you associate with it. And 1/2 the guys who sign up for the Marines think that war will be exciting and make them heros….. ok -im sure bad analogy – but point still valid. maybe better would be people who say they want to live in colonial times or whatever. Great – until it comes to the reality of living then without the running water or indoor plumbing or vaccines and in a state of unrest and unbalance. Romantic – only in sparse moments because its not a novel – its real life. Preconceived notions and impressions go out the window in an amazing kiss, or the heartbreak of realizing that you really wanted people to be there to celebrate with you.
You CAN have it all here. Just make sure not to get caught up in wedding planning and make it into a huge stuffy event. Talk to brides who have had a small wedding because they wanted it that way, i highly doubt any of them would change a thing.
You want all those moments, and this is the ONE time in your life that you can have them. Take the opportunity. Seize that day with both hands, a family behind you, and a photographer to catch your smiles, and your families’ joy.

10 06 2008
squabbler

I’ve only read this post from you, so I don’t know your whole situation. I married 3 years ago and went through the same thing. I didn’t really have alot of friends to warrant a big church, yet I wanted my mom and dad to have the joy & memories of being there, with dad walking me down the aisle. So we compromised. Mom and Dad paid for the 4 of us to go to Vegas for a week and get married there. I had the chapel, the dress, my dad walking me down the aisle, the cake, the toast, and it included the limo, a video, and photos. I had 5 friends attend. It was up to them if they wanted to go and support us, but they were responsible for their travel and hotel. It worked out great for all of us! I wouldn’t do it any different if I had to do it over again. You get all the memories, the small eloping style wedding, the honeymoon, and a mini vacation wrapped in one! Feel free to email me if you want to more info on how we did it or just have questions! Good luck and Congrats!

10 06 2008
squabbler

Forgot to mention….when we returned from Vegas, we had a Wedding Party. Everyone that didn’t make the trip out there, came to the party. It was very much like a wedding reception, except more informal. We set up a large tv and played the DVD of our wedding, then the party got started! We didn’t expect gifts, but people wanted us to register, so we did. They brought wedding gifts to the party. It was sweet. As for writing your own vows and dressing informally, you can do that too! I saw couples at some of the chapels out there wearing everything from swimsuits to full chapel train gowns. We also wrote a portion of our own vows and had a 3rd ring to place on my daughter’s hand. It was a surprise to her! We worked it out via emails and phone calls with the chapel to do our vows then we brought her up and did Family Vows. The chapels are very open to lots of ideas to make YOUR wedding the way YOU want it.

11 06 2008
aprilrain

I think you would regret it if you did not have a wedding ceremony. I’ve been reading your blog for some time and your enthusiasm on the subject of weddings makes me always look forward to your next post. If anyone can pull off a small, inexpensive, yet very stylish wedding ceremony ~ it is you!! Honestly, I think you should be a wedding planner. You should share your knowledge, thoughts and ideas and sense of style on a bigger scale than just your blog (which I enjoy very much). And you should definitely take advantage of this talent of yours, in your personal life as well.

I say you should go for it … imho 🙂

11 06 2008
Rhonda Gail

Thank you for your comments. Y’all have really given me further insight on not only my wedding, but my future career plans. 🙂

12 06 2008
kristin @ the fairmount bride

I agree, I think that you would regret not having the ceremony. I have to be honest, for me, what I really want is for our friends and family see us say our vows. I want them to see the emotion, the raw moments of an otherwise orchestrated day. The party afterward will be great, but having them share in that moment with us, is what what I am most looking forward to.

12 06 2008
Rhonda Gail

I’m with you on that, Kristin. I want our loved ones to feel how strong our love is, to witness such a huge moment in our lives. When I daydream about our wedding, it’s always the ceremony that enters my mind, and you know what? It’s never just the two of us.

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